Tough Foreign Women

Titel of an article published in the newspaper Metro I have found today in the trash: Foreign Women Have it Tough.

The article goes on saying that although they are performing well at school and in the job market, foreign women in the Netherlands seem to be more subject of depressions and burn outs than other groups. Why ? They still suffer a huge pression from their community to accumulate the functions of family care taker and cleaning/cooking ladies. Too much has been put on their shoulders: the Dutch society demand their emancipation and at home their extended families demand them performing the traditional feminine roles. And there is no discussion in their communities about alternatives to that.

In the article that they never mention which communites are those. Obviously they are referring to more traditional and non western ones, with a rigid "feminine" functions. Interesting that generalization in the Dutch press. I notice they deliberately put all groups of foreigners in the same bag. Or at least all non Europeans & non North-Americans go to the same bag, as being backwards and repressed.

Note: allochtoon is a definition for a Dutch person with a foreign background. For example: a person with Dutch citizenship but with at least one of the parents born in a non-western country (African, South American or Asian ones - excepting Japan). The definition of allochtoon is opposed to autochtoon: a Dutch person whose both parents were born in Holland. To illustrate: my children were both born in Holland, speak Dutch as first language, dream in Dutch and love pannenkoeken - but are allochtoon because mamma came from the jungle thus ain't no Dutch. Yeah !!

The Price of Things

The paintings above are in my living room. Just like the painting pictured below they were bought at an amazing shop in Rotterdam. Even when we didn't have any money to invest in sculptures or paintings my husband and I were a couple of times there to admire all items and dream about them (kijken, kijken en niet kopen). Until one day we decided to go for the items pictured here. Such works of art do not ask for passepartout or frames because the themes are painted also on the sides of the canvas. It is like the flowers are wraping all the surface. I like that idea and it is also quite simple to clean the upper side of the canvases as well.
The pink flower used to be in the master bedroom. I am completely mad about it. It goes now to my little daughter's bedroom - we are redecorating it. It was made by the same lady artist who made the pictures which are in the living room. They were expensive but I think they worth every cent we paid for.

The painting above was until last week hanging at the corridor of the company I used to work for. It is huge - 1m50 high x 1m wide. It is now hanging in my bedroom. Before the closing down, the company direction decided to bring many items into an auction: working tables, chairs, a leather couch, a television set, a collection of guide books from National Geographic, a dishwasher... and paintings. I have always referred to the picture above as "mine", much before I could know there was going to be an auction. As soon as I heard the company had plans of closing down the office in Amsterdam I asked about the destiny of this painting. I had since the beginning of this blog photographed it and used as a link to Keukenhof on the blog main page. Many of my colleagues considered this painting hideous - to say the minimum. Too big, too bright too... primitive. They rolled up their eyes when glimpsing at it. I, on the contrary, absolutely love it - the size, the colours, the technique, the whole theme.

And so there was the auction. Everyday in our intranet we could check the highest bid and decide to bid as well. The painting started at 10 euros. For one day nobody decided to offer something for it. So I placed an offer of 15 euros on a paper and threw it at the "auction box" in located in the corridor wall. The following day my offer appeared in the intranet as being the hinghest one. And then somebody decided to bid 20 euros for it. I was surprised and decided to stop bidding, stop showing interest and waited for almost ten days. Nobody placed offers either. I removed the pink painting from my room and started to see the tulips on the wall. The last day for biddings I threw a paper in the "auction box": 30 euros, just in case. Incredibly, nobody had offered more than that: I received a call home from work congratulating and informing me that I had won the auction ! One colleague helped me with packing it and then I took it into the bus (luckily half empty) and then later into my car. I called a lot of attention while carrying it into the bus and then to the car - but the bus passengers and passers-by were respectful of my gesture and didn't laugh or threw me puzzled looks. At home I carried it up the stairs (pheeew !) and hung it on the wall.

"Everything goes well when it finishes well". (Or something like that !) I have only good memories of the whole closing down process. Everything was made in a very decent, transparent way. I certainly wish to keep contact with some - many actually - colleagues. I received a recommendation letter, I followed some workshops and trainings the company provided,I will get severance money and they have already paid half of the costs of an intensive Dutch course I am going to start in November.

And I got the tulips.

Fired ! [Gedumpt !]

Crisis.

Recession. 

Unemployment.

To be fired has serious impacts in someone's life. According to psychologists it can be compared to the impact of losing a dear one, sickness, prison penalty but also the stress of a marriage or pregnancy. 

What should you say to a friend /partner/relative that has been fired ?

"I had already thought it would happen."

"When are you going to look for something ?"

"It is difficult to find something now, with all this crisis..."

"Oh, that company was not worthwhile anyway."

"And what do you intend to do now ?"

All the options above are wrong according to psychologist Gertruud Bolhuis in the magazine Intermediair . You should think together with your friend (or partner or relative). Ask things such as: "In which sense does this affect you ?" or "Do you see positive aspects in this fact ?. Try to be a coach !